Salesmanship in print -- It pays to advertise -- A permanent deformity -- Smoke and mirrors -- A desire to be seduced -- Darned good baloney -- Surround yourself with crazies -- Capitalism's soft sell -- The art of persuasion -- A gorilla in a jockstrap -- Whole lies and half-truths -- Dust or magic -- A moving parade -- The most fun you can have with your clothes on -- Delivering audiences to advertisers -- Soap and sealing wax -- The best of all conceivable worlds -- Gentlemen with brains -- First, make a friend -- Artificial pearls and genuine swine -- Make his logo twice the size -- Who the hell wants to be safe? -- Executive fungus -- The Rainbow Nation -- Bumper stickers of the world.